The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
