i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
