He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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