The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
