I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
