Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
