marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize