VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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