he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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