I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
