my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
