Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
