hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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