i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
They are going to name an STD after you.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
