i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
