Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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