I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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