Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Still dying that you shit outside
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
