i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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