u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
