reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
