So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
