Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
