idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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