it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
