would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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