I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize