I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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