I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
