Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
