Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
