Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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