It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize