6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
