Your face is a jimmy john
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My vagina just clenched in fear
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
