My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So much Jack, so little girl.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
