My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
