you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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