i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize