Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize