He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
