the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
