We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
