What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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