so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
