is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
this beer tastes like vomit already
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
