Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
