He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
