That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
