Are we in a gay sports bar?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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