I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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