HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
