He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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