How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
