No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The uberlube is also flammable
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
