do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
