Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
