the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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