I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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