I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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