just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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