I showed him my bush... on skype.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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