Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
