I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize