Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
