Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
this hospital has no fireball
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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