love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
