my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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