i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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