You really coming over, don't trick.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He kissed a someone with a penis
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
