after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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