So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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